The most common resolutions people typically make are to lose weight, to save money, to learn a something new, to become more organized, to stop smoking/drinking, and to become overall healthier (eating homecooked meals versus fast food, buying a gym membership, going to bed earlier, finding a new, less stressful job, etc.). One on-line poll in 2020 showed that by about 68% of people give up on their goals after approximately 32 days. The most common reason: lack of discipline. Other factors for abandoning these resolutions included busy schedules, not having “enough time,” and even peer pressure. So the question is: How does one make a New Year’s Resolution and actually follow through with it? Generic answer: Hard work and commitment.
Don't Think it - ink it!
Every New Year’s Resolution that a person makes is an attempt to fulfill something within their basic needs; To satisfy quality world pictures. Something to make their lives a little bit better. No one ever makes a resolution to make things worse. However, having another commitment to fulfill is often times very stressful and ultimately discarded because one already has “too many irons in the fire.” But these Resolutions should be viewed as a form of self-care and most people tend to put taking care of themselves at the bottom of that list. As this list continues to grow with other obligations, eventually, the resolutions are taken off the list. In order for these resolutions to be achieved, resolutions must become a priority! (Using concepts of Dr. William Glasser’s Reality Therapy and Dr. Robert Wubbolding’s WDEP system, this is where I tell you how!)
By Jacob L. Wright, M.Ed., LPCC-S, NCC
Reviewed and Edited by Michael Fulkerson, LPCC-S and author of Treatment Planning from a Choice Theory Perspective
Well, it’s that time of year again. The Time of year people start thinking about those promises to themselves that they’re not really going to keep. Every year, many people create a New Year’s Resolution with good intentions of keeping them, but soon throw them out along with all the boxes and wrappings of the holidays. In the beginning, these people are very determined and motivated to make changes in their lives. Why? By the end of the year, most people are stressed and overwhelmed and tired of being stuck in a rut. Tired of being broke. Tired of being stressed. Tired of being fat. Tired of being… tired. I know this all too well. I have been one of those people!
Take a few minutes to think about what your resolution would be for the new year. What is something that you feel would improve your outlook on your life? Or improve the quality of your life? Write it down. Don’t’ just think it, INK IT! Chances are, this is something you’ve wanted for a long time. It may also be a resolution you’ve tried to achieve before and didn’t follow through with. Now think about the impact this would have if you were to achieve this. Can you describe it? How would you feel if you could make this happen? Now ask yourself how badly do you want it? Do you just kind of want it? Or do you really want it? There is a big difference in your motivation depending on how you answer this question!
Overcome Past Efforts
Once you know what you want and how badly you want it, think about what you’ve tried in the past to achieve this goal. Write it down! If this is a brand-new want, you may not have tried anything before. And that’s ok! If this is something you’ve wanted before, and did not follow through with, that is okay, too! If this is something you’ve wanted for a long time and have tried many things, how well did it work out? What are some of the things that did work and what are the efforts that did not? Again, write this down.
By now, you know what you want and how badly you want it. You are also aware of your past efforts, what has worked and what did not. Now ask yourself “What can I do differently and what am I willing to do to make sure this works this time.” This is your plan of action. Be as detailed as possible. If your resolution is to lose weight, write down how you’re going to do this. Example:
- I will commit to exercise 3 days a week for 1 hour (Monday, Wednesday and Friday)
- I will cut down to only having fast food 1 day per week and eat home cooked meals the rest of the week
- I will drink 72 oz water per day. (Break this down into how many ounces per hour.)
- I will cut down on sodas to 1 per week and replace with water or unsweet tea.
Dr. Robert Wubbolding, author of Reality Therapy for the 21st Century, attests that for a plan to be effective, it must be “Simple, Attainable, Measurable, Immediate and Controlled by the planner (SAMIC).”
It can be whatever steps you feel you need to take to make this happen. If you find yourself not knowing what steps need to be taken, make a step to include researching or talking to someone who knows more about what it is that you want. Again, be specific and realistic. Don’t set standards too high. Committing to working out 3 hours a day 7 days a week can be overwhelming and set someone up to fail. If you can do more on certain days than usual, do it. But only write down what is manageable and what you’re willing to commit to.
Commitment
If you’ve gone this far, why not go ahead and sign it. Put your signature and date somewhere on this as a written contract to yourself. Now take it a step further and post it somewhere where you will see it every day, or maybe several times a day. Put it on the fridge if you have to. This can help you hold yourself accountable for your goals.
My personal recommendation is to document your progress once a month until you’ve reached your goal. Review your contract. Are you still reaching for the same goal? What have you been doing to make this happen? Is it working? Why or why not? And if it’s not working as well as you’d like, are there modifications to make to your plan? If so, write it down. Sign it. Date it. And keep going!! If you say you can, or say you can’t, you’re right!! You are in control! You are the only one that can make this happen for yourself. You’re worth it!! If you want it, go for it! You got this!!
Cheers!
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